September 10, 2022

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This PROFILE first appeared on Midlife Cues, a weekly newsletter about intentional living and living our best in the second half of our lives. 

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Tim DeBellis and his husband of 17 years, Gianni, have two grown daughters and one new son-in-law. Having moved to Santa Rosa (from LA) nearly 10 years ago, Tim has definitely embraced the wine culture. With so many world-renowned wineries nearby, it’s hard not to! 

Tim enjoys hiking and exploring the beautiful scenery right in their backyard, from the rugged Sonoma Coast to sweeping prairies, to spectacular redwood forests. He’s fond of gardening and says working on their home landscaping gives him a much-needed mental break from long days. You can connect with Tim on Instagram.

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IN WHICH GENERATION DO YOU BELONG?

Generation Jones: 1955 – 1964

DO YOU WORK? IF SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

Six years ago, I transitioned from a nearly 20-year career in management consulting to a career in real estate. Becoming a real estate agent after years in other professions seems a little cliché. But for me, it has really been just an extension of the client service work I had been doing. Only now I have a direct impact on people’s lives from the services I provide. It’s very rewarding to be able to help people transition from one chapter of their lives to another.

HOW ARE YOU MOST DIFFERENT FROM THE 25-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YOU?

I am my authentic self now (I know that phrase is getting a bit overused at this point). I think there are still many characteristics of my 25-yr-old self that remain with me today, 35 years later. I would say, though, that I am learning to be much more accepting of what and how things are versus what I expect them to be.

That’s not to say I just let life happen. On the contrary, I am much more focused on the vision of what I want my life to be and have become hyper-vigilant about adjusting my behaviors and taking the necessary actions to realize that vision. That’s very different than my 25 yr old self — hell, my 50-yr-old self — of just expecting my life to be a certain way simply because I woke up every day.

WHAT ABOUT MIDLIFE IS EXACTLY LIKE YOU IMAGINED?

Hmmm…that’s a little difficult to answer because I never had a preconceived notion of what mid-life was. Things not working quite as well, or like they used to, I guess…hahaha.

GOOD OR BAD, WHAT ABOUT MIDLIFE HAS SURPRISED YOU SO FAR?

How much you can still learn and grow and experience life. For me, the best thing about midlife is that I have amazing experiences and a breadth of knowledge that I’ve accumulated up to this point. These provide me with a solid foundation from which I can climb to new levels.

WHAT ONE HABIT ARE YOU ACTIVELY WORKING ON THESE DAYS?

Practicing gratitude and having a mindset of abundance. Every morning I spend a few minutes reflecting on what I’m grateful for in my life, business, relationships, health, etc. I have also been actively working to re-program my thinking towards a mindset of abundance. This means I focus on what I do have in my life versus what is missing. That shift in mindset, for me, has had an attractive benefit. The more I focus on what I have, the more seems to come my way.

WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY THESE DAYS AND WHY?

One of the most enjoyable things I like to do is simply sit in my backyard on a Saturday afternoon with a glass (or two) of wine, thumbing through an interior design magazine, and admiring my yard.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT THESE DAYS?

The future that’s ahead of me.

IF YOU COULD GIVE A 20-YEAR-OLD PERSON SOME WORDS OF WISDOM OR PIECE OF ADVICE, WHAT MIGHT IT BE?

I think the Serenity Prayer sums it up pretty well…grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Also, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time. And lastly, happiness is not a destination, it is the journey.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER/BAND GROWING UP?

Jackson 5 / Michael Jackson – still!

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About the Author: Lou Blaser

A former management consultant and IT leader, Lou Blaser is the editor of Midlife Cues and the host of the Second Breaks podcast. She is also the author of Break Free: The Courage to Reinvent Yourself and Your career. Lou’s work is focused on exploring how to navigate, thrive, and turn midlife into the best phase in our life.